We can all agree that it's a weird and boring time of year, right? It's cold and lonely and boring and the Seasonal Affective Disorder is in full swing. My brain is off. I usually want to talk about Nixon, and even that. It's like, ugh. We can talk about China later....................................
I'm sitting here debating if I should feel guilty for listening to an Iggy Azalea playlist. You can see the moths flying around in my skull.
Although, a quick thought on that: Does anyone else think that Pretty Girls sounds like a Gwen Stefani song? Particularly off of The Sweet Escape? Right? Other random thing, I think that Selena Gomez's Hands To Myself sounds like Ellie Goulding's On My Mind.
ANYWAY. Adult Doldrums. We all have them. Here's how I'm helping myself:
1 Obnoxious Robe
Mine is leopard, above. You probably want one obnoxious chick-lit novel, too. I'm reading this.
2 Hours of Podcasts by People Who Get You
If you turned on Anna Faris's podcast right now, I promise you will be happier an hour from now.
3 Words: Guilt-Free Vocabulary
Everyone speaks in a way they feel comfortable. Except that the way women speak is wrong. How many blogs have you read that echo the same sentiment of, "IF YOU WANT TO SUCCEED, YOU HAVE TO STAB YOUR VOCAL FRY IN THE HEART AND LOSE THE MILLENNIAL GIRL SLANG."
I'm not censoring myself right now in casual conversation. I'm guiltlessly responding with the following words: "fuck" "just" "like" "omg" "literally" "I can't" "with this" "adulting" "shit".
I need to start sentences with, "I feel like" and ask for input by saying, "How do we feel about this?" I'm leaning into my southern Connecticut accent. I'm not apologizing.
Don't let your annoying boyfriend tell you that you're killing the word literally for your future grandchildren. Say it loud. Say it proud. It's too cold; be yourself.
4 Online Purchases (of Things You Can Arguably Live Without)
5 Inches of Black Roots
6 Hours of David Bowie Music
Not over it. Need it.
750words.com is my online journaling tool that changed my life-slash-helped me change my life. It charts your moods, frequently used words, days you're on a streak, and times your writing speed.
There is no space safer than a journal.
8 Articles That Make You Think
Most publications give their material away for free. This is amazing. This was not always a thing. Now it's a thing.
Close Reddit. Read some badass blogs. My eight favorite (free) websites / blogs = NYMag / The Cut, Cracked, Man Repeller, BuzzFeed, I Will Teach You To Be Rich, Penelope Trunk, Seth Godin, and xoJane.
(Paid subscriptions are where it's at too. I get The New Yorker, New York Magazine, Cosmopolitan and Elle.)
9 Horoscope Predictions
I probably read my horoscope from nine different publications per month and I continually justify my delayed dating efforts as a result (Mercury is in retrograde, don't go out! // Let him approach you this month, Libra! // All that self improvement you've been raking through shouldn't slow down this month, especially not for that *project* / *guy* / *financial thing*). I'd rather my internet astrologers tell me that it's going to happen when I least expect it, instead of, you know, anything productive.
What a metaphor! Aye!
10 Cups of Coffee
11 Kardashian Gifs
Your day is better because of this gif. My day is better because of this gif. There are a million more here; leave your favs in the comments? I can't justify eleven gifs in the middle of this, plus there are so many Kardashian gif listicles, you don't need me to make one (or do you??).
12 Minutes on the Stairmaster
No one likes being told to exercise when they're depressed. Everything about working out is diametrically opposed to what the depressed person wants to do. And it doesn't help that it's freezing and dark constantly and no one wants to be in public.
But. You and I both know that exercising will help with the summertime/wintertime/all-the-time sadness.
Twelve minutes on the stairmaster. Then pick some stuff up and put it down. Write in your journal. Drink some coffee. Read a blog that makes you smile. Be comfortable, and be yourself. That's it.